Monday, November 05, 2007

Left Behind

I’m getting really frustrated. I keep leaving all my stuff behind. When I was at the hospital last week I left my bag, that had all my reading and writing material, in the car, which my sister parked valet. Do you know how hard it is to get stuff out of your car when the valet has your only set of keys? It’s a pain.
And now today I’m at work. I left behind my notebook filled with notes on Human Decency for the second time now that NaNoWriMo has started. I know I can write without them. I can always go back and reflect on them later. Yet, it would be a lot easier to remember what I was planning on writing, what I’ve already covered and what I need to cover, as well as character names and such, if I had that friggin’ notebook with me.

Also these past few weeks have been that clichéd emotional roller coaster for me. I have a lot going on in my head. There’s been a lot of really good and a lot of crappy stuff going on. I just want to write it all down in my journal. Unfortunately, I haven’t really found a lot of time for that lately. So I figured I’d get to work on Monday morning and let all the craziness spill over into the pages of my journal. But guess what? I left it at home.
This makes me even more annoyed because I have writing paranoia, as some may already know. I’m bad with my fiction but I’m neurotic when it comes to my most personal writing of all, which is my journal. And to think I left it sitting at home where there is a recent flow of house visitors that need to be there when I’m not there. It disturbs me and drives me mad.
I know it seems awful that I have people at my house that I can’t trust with something like this. It’s more me than them. I have issues.
Anyway, so I’m at work while I’m writing this and it is driving me beyond mad, to the point where I want to run home and get it. But I will be strong. I will trust. I will be okay. I think.
I’ll just try to keep my mind off it by working on Human Decency and typing a gigantic e-mail to Jenni.


Anonymous said...

I think it's understandable you're so protective of your journal. I was the same way when I kept one. But don't you have a great hiding spot where you store it at all times when you're not writing in it? I mean, you can't take it everywhere, can you?

-Melissa Donovan
Writing for Writers

jenni said...

I'm so ready for a gigantic email. What a crazy week I've had (and it's only TUESDAY!)

Ashley said...

Melissa- I do have a really great hiding spot but unfortunately it wasn't hidden because I got it out with the intent of taking it with me.
If I took it with me everywhere I'd probably have major paranoia about it getting lost.
I'm not sure what would be worse having a stranger read it or someone I know.

Jenni- I hope you enjoyed your gigantic e-mail. There's more to come.