Just when I thought I was done

I worked all weekend to finish the stuff I mentioned in my last post. When I thought I was done with my Christmas cards, I thought of about ten more people that I needed to send cards to. My address book that had my Christmas card list was saved on the computer that died this summer. Usually I'd try to fill in the blanks by looking at last years cards but I got so few thanks to my address change. Bahumbug.
I also realized I need a cover letter to accompany a resume if I chose to send it out. So I'm not finished like I thought I was.

And while reading through some news this weekend I found an article that shouted Human Decency. Probably a sign that I should get back to work.

No Expectations

Right now I have a huge to do list. I need to finish editing Going It Alone and I’d like to start a query letter for it. And that would involve sending it out to agents as well.
Remember that Christmas story I was working on, nearly done but not quite, so I need to do that.
Then there are submissions for other stories. Like the stack that I got ready a few weeks ago but have remained on my desk due to my lack of postage.
Also, every now and again, I work on editing one of my previously finished short stories every time we actually manage to have a writing group meeting.
And I haven’t forgotten that I’m suppose to be posting somewhat entertaining stuff on my blog everyday as well as working on Human Decency.
Combine all of this with all the hectic personal stuff in my life and I’ve got one conclusion. I’m not likely to finish Human Decency during November. I know it may seem awful to give up so soon. We’re only six days in. Although, the odds of me not finishing are pretty good considering my track record for NaNoWriMo.
I think it was a good time to start and I will try to write as much as possible, just to see how I do. The problem for me is that I’m pretty sure Human Decency will be longer than 50,000 words. Also I have spent more than a year reading, interviewing, researching and being completely scared to write this novel. So it seems kind of weird to say to myself, ‘it’s the most important thing you’ve ever written, get it done in 30 days.’
I do think NaNoWriMo is a good motivator to get me restarted after the loss of my previous start to Human Decency and it will still push me to write, because honestly I do have a little hope that I might get beyond inspired and crank out the book over a month, but I’m just saying, it’s not likely. And that’s gonna have to be okay.

Left Behind

I’m getting really frustrated. I keep leaving all my stuff behind. When I was at the hospital last week I left my bag, that had all my reading and writing material, in the car, which my sister parked valet. Do you know how hard it is to get stuff out of your car when the valet has your only set of keys? It’s a pain.
And now today I’m at work. I left behind my notebook filled with notes on Human Decency for the second time now that NaNoWriMo has started. I know I can write without them. I can always go back and reflect on them later. Yet, it would be a lot easier to remember what I was planning on writing, what I’ve already covered and what I need to cover, as well as character names and such, if I had that friggin’ notebook with me.

Also these past few weeks have been that clichéd emotional roller coaster for me. I have a lot going on in my head. There’s been a lot of really good and a lot of crappy stuff going on. I just want to write it all down in my journal. Unfortunately, I haven’t really found a lot of time for that lately. So I figured I’d get to work on Monday morning and let all the craziness spill over into the pages of my journal. But guess what? I left it at home.
This makes me even more annoyed because I have writing paranoia, as some may already know. I’m bad with my fiction but I’m neurotic when it comes to my most personal writing of all, which is my journal. And to think I left it sitting at home where there is a recent flow of house visitors that need to be there when I’m not there. It disturbs me and drives me mad.
I know it seems awful that I have people at my house that I can’t trust with something like this. It’s more me than them. I have issues.
Anyway, so I’m at work while I’m writing this and it is driving me beyond mad, to the point where I want to run home and get it. But I will be strong. I will trust. I will be okay. I think.
I’ll just try to keep my mind off it by working on Human Decency and typing a gigantic e-mail to Jenni.

An art show and not much else

I have gotten absolutely nothing done today. I did go to the art show. R's work was amazing. She's got serious talent. I'm not really knowledgeable about the technical aspects of art so I don't really know how to describe her work. She does drawings of people, mostly portrait style. Some in charcoal, some in soft pastels and I think a few other types. I'll have to reread her artist's statement.
One thing I did particularly like about her work was that her people weren't stereotypically gorgeous. They were just everyday people who weren't drawn to be glamorous. Real, I guess is the word I'm looking for.
Seeing the results of R's hard work should inspire me to get moving on my novel so that's what I need to do. When I'm at work tomorrow, I'll try to write a really moving and substantial post that talks about more than the things I'm doing to procrastinate writing Human Decency.

Day two ( and yes I know that's a very uncreative title for this post)

Well I started, or restarted really, Human Decency as my NaNoWriMo novel yesterday. I only got 1015 words done on the first day. Obviously, a little short of the 1600 words I should be writing daily but it could have been a lot worse. I could have not started at all. And the way my week is going that would have been likely. So I'm just happy to have started and hopefully I'll make some progress tonight.

In NaBloPoMo news I am happy to announce that my writing pal, Ms. Jenni, is participating in NaBloPoMo this year. I've always been kind of bummed that she didn't update her live journal more. Her posts are hilarious. When we used to work at the shoe store together the posts she would write about our boss and the customers would have me in tears. She's amazing. And I will make her my NaBloPoMo friend on the profile, that I have yet to fill out, as soon as I figure out how to accept someone as my friend. Until then visit here for an awesome post that mentions yours truly. Well the first November post mentioned me. Jenni's already way ahead and has another post up. She's totally kicking my butt.

In other NaNo/NaBlo news, which will pretty much be my only news for the next month, I plan on checking out the blogs of those people that left comments about NaNoWriMo on my post over the last few weeks. I need to see if they are off to a good start. And of course I need to check out some of the NaBloPoMo participants and my usual blogs that I once read daily but have fallen very far behind on.

Backing up

I know how could I possible get a new computer, and after so long of not being on the Internet, not update my blog a hundred times by now. Well, I’ve been getting all my software back on to my computer. And thanks to Sharon’s husband, I’ve been backing up, and putting back onto my computer, most of my work that was on my flash drive! Woohoo!

This week is going to be crazy hectic. I’ll be at the hospital for about 14 hours on Thursday. It’s a lot of waiting so hopefully I’ll have time to get a lot of work done. I think Going It Alone is at the point where I can print it out and read through it. I usually save that for about the third or fourth time I’ve been through something since the first few times of reading it I make about a hundred changes.
I thought about taking my laptop but I’m not sure there will be a place to plug it in and I’ll have way too much stuff to lug around.
If I get sick of writing, maybe I’ll finally break into the Tolkien books I’ve been meaning to get to.

And as I mentioned before most of work came off the flash drive but not all. That includes a few pieces of what I had started of Human Decency. Plus, since I’ve taken such a long break from it I think it might be a good idea to just start over and what better time than for NaNoWriMo. So that’s the plan.

Err: My brain has not been formatted

When my computer had a horrible virus I made sure to back everything up. Then the computer died but that’s okay I had everything backed up. Then another computer died but that’s okay because I still had everything backed up.
I had put everything on my flash drive. Well, when you don’t have a computer your flash drive becomes the only thing with your work on it and it would seem reasonable that you should back everything up somewhere else, right? Too bad this occurred to me after I went to open the files on my flash drive only to have it say “this disk has not been formatted” and a ‘properties’ check showed there is, indeed, nothing on it.
How did it happen? The last time I plugged it in at the library I made sure the red light was off before removing it but I hadn’t ended up using it so whether or not it had been erased then, I don’t know.

I know that some of my stuff is saved in e-mails, most of it, at least the finished stuff, has been printed out or was hand-written originally, but the sad truth is that some of it is lost forever.

Once again, just like not having a computer has given me more time to write and less time to waste on the Internet, I think good can come of this. Maybe the stuff that was lost wasn’t all that good. I still have the ideas in my head or maybe even written down in some giant stack of notes. Sometimes you have to start from scratch in order to let go of the bad stuff that you felt loyal to.

For instance, most of what I had written for Human Decency is gone. I still have notes and character outlines but the actual first pages are gone. Maybe it's not all bad. I could now start over on Human Decency for NaNoWriMo. I had taken so much time away from it anyway, maybe starting over is best.

And right now I’m reading The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. It’s a memoir book and she writes about how her family would never stay in one place very long. Her mother was an artist and a writer. Whenever they would leave somewhere they would only take what they could fit in their car and a lot of times her mother would leave behind almost all of her work. I keep thinking about that whenever I get upset about my disk that has gone blank.

That time of year is drawing near

I can't believe that I just got an e-mail about NaNoWriMo starting soon? And the NaNoWriMo group on live journal is already filling up with posts. Is it that time of year already?

I’m not sure if I’ll do it again this year. I have yet to complete it. Last year I did worse than the year before. There’s a lot going on right now. I’m still trying to edit last year's book and work on Human Decency. Not to mention all the short stories, comic scripts, submissions and other stuff I try to squeeze in. I just don’t think it would be wise. Yet, I love the spirit and idea of NaNoWriMo. It calls to me. I know I could just participate in one of the spin-offs that happen a different time of year but it’s not the same.
One thing I do plan to do this year, providing I have a computer by then, is National Blog Posting Month. Even if I don’t have a computer I’ll give it a try with the library but I’ll probably fail.
I liked NaBloPoMo. Not just because it brought a ton of people to my blog but it really motivated me to post on my blog, which I know I don’t do nearly enough. Well, I feel like I post when there’s a need, which should be enough. Yet, I feel like I came up with some good stuff last time, especially when I received some great suggestions.

I guess I’ll have to wait and see my situation come November. If I’m miraculously done with a ton of my current work than maybe I’ll give NaNoWriMo another shot.
Either way I’ll give NaBloPoMo another try. If I don’t have the ability to post everyday, maybe I can do two posts every other day. I know it’s cheating but the whole point is to motivate people to write.

Currently reading: Batgirl:Volume One

Getting back on track

It seems things are getting back to normal computer wise, well as normal as they can get. And now that I don't have to spend all my time working on computer problems I'm hoping to get back to my writing schedule.
When I used to work nights and weekends I had a writing schedule and for a while it worked really well. Then my job changed and it was hard for me to get back into the swing of things. After six months I feel like I’m finally getting back in a groove and a schedule is forming.
So now I’m trying to set the schedule and stick to it. I feel like I have a few projects going on and I need to keep them balanced. I didn’t mean to start editing my NaNo novel until after I finished Human Decency but I’ve got some stuff going on in my life that brings me back to my NaNo novel. I feel like now's a good time to work on it. And I’m having a little trouble pushing through with Human Decency at this time. I’ve got a great idea and terrific characters (so I think, anyway) but I need to come up with some idea of where it’s going. I need a little direction.
Now my tentative schedule for the week is to edit my NaNo novel during the day while I’m at work. After reading through it I made a list of things I want to change or need to think about. I’ve decided to change it to first person point-of –view. I do want to add in the final short story. I liked Jenni’s idea of having her live it then start writing it. I thought it would be cool to just have the story and let the reader decide if it’s real or if it’s another one of the writer’s stories but I can’t think of a way to do it that’s not completely confusing. I’ve yet to decide whether to get rid of the first story. If I keep it I definitely need to add more about how it relates to the writer’s life. And I need to make the story less chunky. There are chunks of the writer’s life and how that affects what she’s writing and then chunks of what she’s writing. I think I need to make the parts smaller and intertwine them more.
I know most of this probably only makes sense to me but I thought I’d share so it seems like I’m actually working on something.
At night I work on Human Decency. Well I try to push through anyway. I’ve been working on introducing the characters and bringing them together but I’m worried it’s not happening fast enough and that this book is going to end up huge. That’s if I think of something past the characters coming together. I also don’t want to cheat it.
On Saturday I work on writing short stories and editing them for submissions. Sundays I work mostly on submissions. I throw in a blog post wherever I can fit it. Occasionally, I go off schedule and work on a few other things like an action/adventure short story series, a Christmas story that I would like to get finished and submitted before the end of the month (*in time for a few literary magazine deadline’s for holiday stories) and anytime I’m around my family I get inspired to write a funny story for a humorous anthology that I really should do.

Well I obviously have a lot to do so I guess it's back to work.

I've got a secret

Well I didn't want to mention it because I was afraid I would jinx it. Everyone knows how that happens. But don't get too excited it's not about publishing or agents. I'll keep dreaming.
The last few weeks I've been meeting with a writing group. I'm one of three people. One of the writers is an old acquaintance from high school. The other was/is a teacher at my old high school, although I didn't realize it until the other group member pointed it out.
Every week I worried that one or both wouldn't show up. Leaving me alone again or in awkward conversation with someone I didn't know. But it worked for a few weeks so I've been pretty lucky.

And I just want to say that my meeting with this group does not mean that I have given up on a writing group with my southeast pals. Writing is my life and the more I get of it the more I'm thriving. Plus it's always wonderful to have more opinions. Not to mention that I hold back a little with the work I bring to this group because one of the writers seems a bit more conservative (not in a political sense) so I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. It's not like I'm writing erotica but some of the content of Human Decency might be a little harsh.

Besides the only reason I dared to mention the writing group today is because I'm not certain it will be around much longer. Both members are teachers, one that will be on vacation for the next three weeks and soon after that school will be starting so I imagine time will be limited. And the member who I went to high school with is also a teacher. She's going to Maryland next week to interview for a job that I hope she gets. Not because I don't want her around but she's been looking for a job and Michigan is pretty much out of them. So I'm fairly sure that it won't be long before the group is no more. We've been trying to get a few more people. There have been potentials and still are but so far not much has come of it. With as hard as it was to get it started in the first place I'm not holding my breath.

Anyway, I've gotten a few stories reviewed by my group so far. The first one is my story about companion animal abandonment. The second was a story that I just recently submitted to a somewhat prestigious magazine and to be honest I probably wouldn't have done it had I not had advice and proofreading from others. The third was a dark comedy of sorts about a somewhat unfortunate girl that my group wanted to make even more unfortunate.
I've gotten positive but constructive feedback. And I've gotten a lot of tips on grammar. I worry more about the story than the technical aspects so it's been a super bonus having two teachers read over my work. I've also greatly enjoyed reading their work. Second to writing, reading is a big chunk of my life and I love to read works in progress.

So I'm bummed that it may come to an end but glad that I had it for the short time I did. And I'm optimistic that I'll maybe have a writing group with others, no pressure though. I know everyone's busy having lives and careers.

**Oh and I just want to sincerely apologize to the person that was directed to my blog today while searching for "allergic reaction to paper and ink". In my last entry I did not mean that it was weird to have this type of allergic reaction but more that it seemed unusual to be allergic to the combination of the two. If this is a serious allergic reaction, I am so sorry for my idiocy.**

*BTW: On the subject of weird searches, in the last two days I've gotten two searches about whining. I've never had any searches about whining before but apparently the past few days have brought on people who wonder "why do people whine?" and "do I whine?"
Wouldn't it be awesome if it turned out it was two people fighting and one said the other whined. So why they were trying to calm down one went searching for why people whine and the other didn't think they were a whiner so they went searching to find out if they did. Oh the possibilities there.*

The start of 'Human Decency?'

Today I finally got over being afraid of doing an awful job of writing my current novel and forced myself to write the first and second section/part. I've been putting this off for so long that I can't believe I actually did it.
I say sections/parts, rather than chapters because it's going to jump from character to character and I don't feel the parts are full chapters.
Anyway, I'm always scared to write the first part, especially on this novel. Even though, I've had the scene perfectly plotted in my head for sometime. It's weird though because once I actually started writing it, it just flowed and turned into something completely different. Something better. It's a lot more harsh than I had planned but if you want to hook a reader, I figure you gotta come out swinging. I think it will definitely capture people and they will connect with a character. My only worry is that it might be a bit much but I can't worry about it now. I have to push forward.
The second part I didn't really have planned out in as much detail as the first but I think it was strong maybe not as strong as the first but it definitely keeps up the intensity. I think the next part will be more mellow. Sorry for the crypticness (I know, not a real word). I don't want to give anything away but I feel like if I don't talk about it I'm going to explode. I will share something about it though.
While writing that part I actually found one line that made me think of an interesting title and to my knowledge there isn't a book or movie called this yet. I'm thinking of calling it, at least for now, Human Decency.

I'm ready to put my novel on paper. Plus I have a potential title, which if you've been reading this blog a while you know that I'm horrible with naming novels. Take my first and second Nano novels for example, because that's what I call them. And thank goodness Jenni came up with Behind the Naugahyde. I wanted to call it Retale. Get it? Probably better for a sequel anyway.