Monday, July 17, 2006

The first glimpse

My intention for the past few days was to post a preview of the sample chapters Jenni and I had written.
The whole thing has been a lot harder than I planned. How much do I post? What part can I post that people will understand and what part is the most entertaining? These things were hard to decide.
After a little discussion with Jen, here's what we came up with. There are two little parts. We decided not to put our most dramatic parts out because they give away too much.
Here is a quick synopsis of the novel. It's about a shoe store and the crazy things that happen there.

So here's a little bit of it. Keep in mind these are both e-mails between characters so much like dialogue they are written the way a real person would say something and are not necessarily grammatically correct. And there is a small chunk missing between the two that's why there are quotations and the ...'s.

"...Andre was supposed to open the Earlton store today. Neil got there and the store was closed. Neil called him and Andre said he was there. I guess Neil kept insisting that he was not there while he searched the store looking for Andre. On the phone Andre said he was in the bathroom. Neil got to the bathroom and the door was closed. Apparently the toilet was running, so Neil waited while talking to Andre on his phone. Neil asked Andre to hang up the phone and talk to him through the door and Andre's reply was "no I'm in the bathroom, that would just be weird." WTF?! I know! So Neil kept waiting, the toilet kept running and Andre was on the phone. Finally Neil tried the door and it was locked. All the time Andre is on the phone and Neil can't hear if he's in the bathroom because the toilet's running.
So I guess Neil dropped to the ground and tried to peer under the door. The lights were on but he couldn't see feet. Of course he could only see about two inches into the bathroom. Neil became seriously more pissed when he realized that a Milk Dud was squished on the pants of his best suit. Neil demands Andre has to come out of the bathroom in two minutes or at least give him some sign he's in there..."

"...Too bad he didn't burn the place down on his way. As if the people from Earlton can even afford Sole Comfort shoes. And I know Sandra would have been first in line to tan by the light of the fire. Seriously, how dumb is she? She wanted to fire Andre after he already quit? Yeah, she was definitely a perfect choice to manage the Earlton store. She's probably the smartest, tannest, best-dressed person in that town (uh, village?) and that's not saying much.
Anyway, I know you could hardly wait for this, so I hereby present you with the lurid details of My Day With Fred. I got to the store at 9:30 and did all of the opening procedures while Neil sat playing solitaire in his office. By 9:45, Fred still hadn't arrived. The security cameras will clearly document that he strolled in at 9:57, only 3 minutes before opening. As I was unlocking the front doors, Fred took his time to mix up a glass of Metamucil and V8 in the back. I understand the necessity for such things (I surely wouldn't want the poor guy to be irregular), and maybe when you're 78 you just don't care but why not just have your drink at home with your breakfast?!...

From "Behind the Naugahyde" by Jennifer Lamb and Ashley Shaffier


D.B. Echo said...

Wow! That's...not what I expected! (Griffin and Sabine in a shoe store?) I can't wait to see more!

Jenni said...

LOL Oh man, every time I read these passages I laugh harder. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Writer's House LOVES us! :)