Another comic book show today and I couldn't stand to be there. No, I'm not getting tired of comic book shows or comic books. I'm getting tired of not being there to promote my own comic book. All I do is sell and by other stuff and it makes me feel gloomy. It's not that I want to make money, I have no expectation of making the big bucks or the small bucks for that matter, I just want to see my work done. I want to see my accomplishment. I want to see other people enjoying my work.
I've been thinking about my writing a lot this week. With the new Harry Potter movie drawing near it makes me think. This happens often when something I really enjoy comes into the spotlight. I get envious. Not because J.K. Rowling is rolling in piles of cash or bombarded with fan mail. I'm sure those things are great but I think about how much I love her books. When I come home from work or have stressful moments I jump into these things and I feel better. I leave the world and life I am tired of and enter these amazing places and become these amazing people. I have always had the imagination to create these places for myself but it's wonderful seeing others. Sometimes you get bored or in a mental block and you can't carry yourself away. That is when you engross yourself in someone else's imagination and you experience things and learn things. It's when you get the chance to experience happy times that you don't have in your own life right now, you get to see horrible things that make you realize your life isn't that bad, or you get to see that their are other people who face the same things you do. That is how I feel about the things I read and watch. I don't know if it is the same for everyone, maybe I over think things or don't think enough. Perhaps I am even bordering on insanity. All I know is that if there is one person or everyone in the world that feels the same way I do, I want to share my imagination with them for the times when they need help breaking away.
It's not that I write only for other people, I write for myself. If you told me no one would ever read my work, I'd still write everyday. I have so many thoughts in my head and I'm so afraid one day I'll forget them. I have to put them down. I don't need to be rich or famous, I've never had either and I have had a great life this far. Yet when I did have tough times I always had somewhere to go. Whether it was in my own head or in a book, when my parents yelled, the kids teased, or my heart was broken I didn't sit around and focus on how much I hated things. I ran away to a place that let me be free from troubles. Then things were good. It's those good things that give you the strength to face the bad things, because you know the good things will come again eventually. I want to give the good things.
That is why I write. I'm just getting anxious because I really want to share it with as many people as possible, if they want to read it. I think about how much I enjoy diving into worlds created by others when I need a break from my imagination as well as my life. If no one else wants to see it that's okay because I have it for myself. That is how it started and I still love it.
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