I've been thinking a lot lately. I know that's unusual for me. And I've been thinking a lot about writing. I keep coming up with excuses of why I don't write much anymore. It's always time.
I constantly say I never have enough time.
Yet, I think back to when I was writing the most and it was when my life was full of taking care of people. I had so little spare time then but I still found time to write.
So what is really different now? Well I'm happy. And to be honest I really felt more motivated to write when my life was full of depressing things.
Is my happiness a reason not to write anymore? No, I still like to write. I still wake up with crazy story ideas. I love talking with people about writing. I just don't write as much as I need to.
And there is always going to be excuses. Sure there's the wedding planning right now but after that. Who knows? And there are so many people who juggle full-time jobs and families but they still find time to write.
I guess I'm at a cross roads now. Do I write for a living or do I write as a hobby? I think it's time for me to decide.
If I decide that I want to make being a professional writer my goal, then I need to commit. Otherwise, I need to find some profession that I can actually see myself doing for the rest of my life. Because the only thing in my life that I'm not happy with is my career. I have a job. I want more than that. I want something that makes me feel like I've actually done something with myself.
Now I just have to figure out what that is.
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