Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I don't want to share

Sometimes I have these weird moments when I tell somebody I'm a writer and they tell me they would love to read something that I wrote. Most of the time I don't stress it because I might never see them again or at least not often enough to have it be a huge deal that I keep "forgetting" to bring my work.
There are other times when people I see everyday, finally ask to see some of my stories. That's when I seriously panic. There's no way of getting out of it other than to say "no," which of course they'll take personal offense to when really it's not them, it's me. Seriously.
I'm paranoid that they are going to think my work is a joke and I can't just not ever see them again, like when I send my writing to editors. I never have to see them. No problem. But if it's someone I have to see because I work with them or just like their company, then that's stressful to me. If my story is not good enough to be published then I can't convince myself that it's good enough to let others read.
What if these people I see everyday, think my story is ridiculous? They would never tell me that to my face, so I would spend every minute thinking that they think I'm a bad writer.
Anyway, this all started when my boss decided he was going to write a novel and decided to chat with me about writing. Now he wants to read my work. How can I get out of that? I can only put it off for so long.
Then the other night, Slipstream decided he wanted to read what I've written. And to me that is even worse. He's very accomplished in his creative work. Lots of people pay him money to share his creative genius. It's hard standards to live up to.
Sure, I give my work to my writing group but they're putting themselves out there as much as I am so I feel like it evens out. Of course, I can always share work that the writing group has already read. I know that it can't be too incredibly terrible if my writing group had positive things to say, right?


Chad Aaron Sayban said...

Nice blog. Found you on Author's Blogs.

In the end, it is your writing. Only you can decide if and when you want to share it. I never let anyone read my first drafts. Once I get something through a second draft, I have a few select people who I trust read it and let me know what they think. It's hard when people are asking to read things you haven't edited or don't think are quite ready. I'm not really good at sharing things I don't think are really finished.

As for your boss - tell him as soon as he gets your big raise taken care of, you will have plenty of time to finish up something for him to read.

D.B. Echo said...

Maybe you should have a few stories set aside for just this purpose. Sacrificial stories, showcase stories, whatever. Kinda like the pictures we post of ourselves. They may not be the best pictures, or even the most representative, but they're the pictures we've chosen to share with the public.

I have read some of your writing, and I loved it!