Thank you to everyone for all their kindness these last months. I know I haven't been a very good blog friend lately but it's nice to know that a few of you are still with me.
I thought I'd give a little update on things in my life that I haven't posted about the last few months.
First off, I had another computer melt down. My computer stopped working. I'm working on getting it repaired and working on a borrowed computer right now. We'll see how that works out.
Last week I met with writing group. We usually meet the first Sunday of the month but I had to postpone due to everything going and my group members were awesome enough to reschedule. I have been taking parts of my short story, Worth Something, which is my story about the value of money and what it means to different people.
Jenni and I went to see RENT again. She got me tickets for Christmas and it was a nice chance to get away from the chaos. I got to see Jenni and my favorite musical. It's a great message of measuring your life in love and living like every moment is your last. It was what I needed.
Work has been madness. I'm really unhappy there. Combine that with a recent viewing of RENT and I can say that all I've wanted to do is quit my job and write. I haven't yet but I am looking into options. I'm not sure how much longer my employment will last, whether it's by my choice or someone else's.
That's about it. I've listed some books, watched some movies, read some books, even wrote some stuff (most of it journal entries). So I have a lot to post about. And I will. If I ever want to get out of this mess and doing what makes me happy, I have to start working hard.
Showing posts with label personal problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal problems. Show all posts
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
It's been over a month since I posted. And the last thing I posted was that my dog, Darlington, passed away. Two days later my grandmother went into the hospital for the third time in two months. After three weeks there was nothing more they could do for her. Last week I said goodbye to the woman that raised me, and my best friend.
It's hard not seeing her or talking to her everyday. There have been a lot of good things and bad things in my life lately. I'd give anything to talk to her about it. She always seemed to know the right thing to do.
So I'm a little lost right now. I can't really promise that I'll try to write more now that I'm not spending all my spare time in the hospital. But I am here and thank you to all of you who have been sticking with me.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Unfortunately, not yet
I was ten minutes away from sitting down and telling you all the good news. My grandma was out of the hospital and on the road to recovery. Not to mention that the huge project that I needed to get done before the 31st was finished today. So there would be nothing stopping me from blogging all the time.
Sadly, right before I sat in my computer chair and booted up, the phone rang. Back to the hospital I went. And as if our family didn't have enough to deal with, Darlington, my childhood dog, is not doing so well. I think we're getting into the final hours. Between it all I am drained but still here. And I will be back on a regular basis soon.
Sadly, right before I sat in my computer chair and booted up, the phone rang. Back to the hospital I went. And as if our family didn't have enough to deal with, Darlington, my childhood dog, is not doing so well. I think we're getting into the final hours. Between it all I am drained but still here. And I will be back on a regular basis soon.
Monday, January 12, 2009
We interrupt this blog...
Okay, I know I'm suppose to be posting more and I know I've had a lot of excuses but I swear I have good reason.
I've had a family member in the hospital. There was a simple surgery that wasn't necessarily simple, but everything turned out okay. Hopefully, they'll be out of the hospital soon and start working on their long and difficult recovery. Until then, I've been at, and will be at, the hospital.
Another thing going on is that I'm making a pretty big change in my personal life. It's an exciting change, that among many positive results, should allow me to spend more time at home, thus giving me more time to write blog posts and fiction.
This isn't something I can fall behind on either. It has to be done by the 31st. No excuses. And I had this whole schedule on how to get it all done by then. That plan went out the window the minute I headed out to the emergency room. So I'm trying to balance both things right now.
It's not leaving me any free time but by the end of January, I should have things together.
If that's possible.
I've had a family member in the hospital. There was a simple surgery that wasn't necessarily simple, but everything turned out okay. Hopefully, they'll be out of the hospital soon and start working on their long and difficult recovery. Until then, I've been at, and will be at, the hospital.
Another thing going on is that I'm making a pretty big change in my personal life. It's an exciting change, that among many positive results, should allow me to spend more time at home, thus giving me more time to write blog posts and fiction.
This isn't something I can fall behind on either. It has to be done by the 31st. No excuses. And I had this whole schedule on how to get it all done by then. That plan went out the window the minute I headed out to the emergency room. So I'm trying to balance both things right now.
It's not leaving me any free time but by the end of January, I should have things together.
If that's possible.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Moving On
With the new job, new apartment and a few other things in life, I've really been putting a lot of things behind me for good. And for once I can honestly say I'm happy. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't miserable before now. I've been content for a while, but right now I'm happy. Life's not perfect but it's pretty good.
Of course, during the bad times, I wrote a lot of stories. And I'm starting to think that my writing was a little too personal. Now I look back on those stories and I don't even want to touch them. That part of my life is over. No need to go back.
When I was with my writing group, talking about the last piece of the Christmas Bells, I realized I just didn't like the story anymore. And a lot of me wondered if it was because I wrote this story for a person that I had to leave behind. A person who isn't in my life anymore because it was them or me and I chose me. Who wants to look back and dwell on that?
So I'm left with the question of how much of my own life should I put into a story? And if I chose any at all, how do I push forward with my work, when that part of my life is over?
If I choose to keep my personal experiences out of it, then where do I find the ideas and the emotions to write?
Of course, during the bad times, I wrote a lot of stories. And I'm starting to think that my writing was a little too personal. Now I look back on those stories and I don't even want to touch them. That part of my life is over. No need to go back.
When I was with my writing group, talking about the last piece of the Christmas Bells, I realized I just didn't like the story anymore. And a lot of me wondered if it was because I wrote this story for a person that I had to leave behind. A person who isn't in my life anymore because it was them or me and I chose me. Who wants to look back and dwell on that?
So I'm left with the question of how much of my own life should I put into a story? And if I chose any at all, how do I push forward with my work, when that part of my life is over?
If I choose to keep my personal experiences out of it, then where do I find the ideas and the emotions to write?
Saturday, November 01, 2008
I'm still alive.
It’s November 1st. The start of NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo. It’s probably no surprise that I don’t plan on committing to either of these this year. Without Internet access, NaBloPoMo would be a difficult task. And while I really should do NaNoWriMo, I just don’t feel like I can.
I have started adjusting to the new job and finding more time for writing. But I still have a lot of unfinished projects to catch up on. There is one significant change that I would like to make in my life that would give me more time to get things done but that change isn’t possible at the moment so I have to make the best of what I have.
The past two Novembers I got slammed with serious family problems. I hope that doesn’t happen again this year but I’m always worried about the possibility. While September through December is my favorite time of the year, it’s not always the kindest to our family.
So no commitment to either NaMo but I do want to at least post more than the few times I managed to post in October, which was twice. So that shouldn't be hard to do.
I have started adjusting to the new job and finding more time for writing. But I still have a lot of unfinished projects to catch up on. There is one significant change that I would like to make in my life that would give me more time to get things done but that change isn’t possible at the moment so I have to make the best of what I have.
The past two Novembers I got slammed with serious family problems. I hope that doesn’t happen again this year but I’m always worried about the possibility. While September through December is my favorite time of the year, it’s not always the kindest to our family.
So no commitment to either NaMo but I do want to at least post more than the few times I managed to post in October, which was twice. So that shouldn't be hard to do.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
On the move
What's going on in my world? More things, other than having no computer, to district me from blogging and writing.
First off, it's hot. And we all know how I despise hot. I've been lucky this year, so far. There have been years where this heat has started in May and continued through September. This year it didn't really get hot until mid-July. I'm anticipating heat through August, but September better cool off.
Other news. I'm moving. Again? I know. It seems like just 2 years ago since I moved and that's pretty close to correct. But I'm broke and I can't afford my lavish life style anymore. One housemate wasn't enough. I need two. And my current house is too small for that. So I'm out.
On the bright side hopefully the money I save on rent will allow me to get my computer fixed. I'm not counting on it, just wishing.
First off, it's hot. And we all know how I despise hot. I've been lucky this year, so far. There have been years where this heat has started in May and continued through September. This year it didn't really get hot until mid-July. I'm anticipating heat through August, but September better cool off.
Other news. I'm moving. Again? I know. It seems like just 2 years ago since I moved and that's pretty close to correct. But I'm broke and I can't afford my lavish life style anymore. One housemate wasn't enough. I need two. And my current house is too small for that. So I'm out.
On the bright side hopefully the money I save on rent will allow me to get my computer fixed. I'm not counting on it, just wishing.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Burst Into Flames
This has been in the works for a while but today has set me off beyond belief. I have another excellent reason why I want to become a successful writer. I want to be able to move out in the middle of nowhere with no one around and no one to deal with except an occasional editor and a few choice people. Why, you ask? Because I am sick of humanity. I can no longer stand the selfishness and distrust of everyone I come in contact with.
I am tired of listening to people whine about the fact that no one bothered to waste their time making the absolute perfect shoe for one single person's feet and only charge $10 for it. I just want to say to them, 'yes it sucks that you can't find a shoe that is the exact size, price, comfort, look, color, heel, toe, back, front, top, bottom, side that you want but get over it. You're too friggin' picky. Stop acting like the whole world is out to get you. You're just lucky that you can afford shoes and they are available for you to buy. Their are people all of the world that would take two shoes that were falling apart, two different styles, two different sizes and just be grateful that they didn't have to walk miles everyday barefoot.'
I don't know if I'll be able to hold my tongue for the next person that jumps out of their luxury sedan and gets attitude with me because the store I work at doesn't have a white sandal for them to take on their cruise, then asks me "well what am I suppose to do," as if I should drop everything in the world to solve this problem.
And I'm tired of the people who e-mail me because they did not receive their $10 item exactly five days after they paid for it. I'm sorry, sometimes there are way more important things in my life than driving to the post office everyday to get every package out on time. Look I have to sell my stuff because my hours got cut and work and I can't pay my rent. I have to wait for your money to transfer from paypal before I can afford to pay the shipping. I don't want to have to post my possesions on eBay everyday. I'm sorry that I try to save time and money by only going to the post office 2-3 times a week. I'm sorry that my Internet got shut off and I couldn't answer your e-mail the minute you sent it. I'm sorry that I need to work, help out my family and take care of my own problems, thus not giving me time to drop everything for you. I'm trying really hard here but I'm not perfect. Your package got out late, it's not the end of the world. If that was the worst thing that happened to me I'd be filled with joy.
And before you act all big and bad behind your harsh words typed on your keyboard hundreds of miles away, check my excellent feedback and realize that I am not, in fact, trying to rip you off of your $10 and perhaps, just maybe, you could think about all the reasons that the package might be late other than me stealing from you. For instance, something bad happened to me or someone I care about, there was an error somewhere along the way or perhaps the seller has a life outside of selling stuff on eBay and had a lot going on that was extremely important to her, and thus your package got in the mail a few days late.
But if all of the shoe shoppers and eBay buyers took a few minutes to realize that the world is not perfect and that it doesn't revolve around them, what would I write about? Freedom, Love, Beauty, Peace, Truth, Joy, Love, Compassion, Understanding, Kindness, Courtesy, Sharing, Harmony? I don't suppose anyone would want to read about those. The concepts would be to foreign. They wouldn't relate to my work and they'd go online and bash it under the title of 'anonymous'.
Okay, I'm sorry but I just really needed to say that. And speaking of flaws into humanity and the wanting of the perfect shoes, I have finished Wicked and will write my thoughts on it shortly but right now I need to do something, I'm just not sure what.
*I have written this in a not-so-happy state. Forgive me for run on sentences or spelling and grammar flaws. I just needed to get it out asap.
I am tired of listening to people whine about the fact that no one bothered to waste their time making the absolute perfect shoe for one single person's feet and only charge $10 for it. I just want to say to them, 'yes it sucks that you can't find a shoe that is the exact size, price, comfort, look, color, heel, toe, back, front, top, bottom, side that you want but get over it. You're too friggin' picky. Stop acting like the whole world is out to get you. You're just lucky that you can afford shoes and they are available for you to buy. Their are people all of the world that would take two shoes that were falling apart, two different styles, two different sizes and just be grateful that they didn't have to walk miles everyday barefoot.'
I don't know if I'll be able to hold my tongue for the next person that jumps out of their luxury sedan and gets attitude with me because the store I work at doesn't have a white sandal for them to take on their cruise, then asks me "well what am I suppose to do," as if I should drop everything in the world to solve this problem.
And I'm tired of the people who e-mail me because they did not receive their $10 item exactly five days after they paid for it. I'm sorry, sometimes there are way more important things in my life than driving to the post office everyday to get every package out on time. Look I have to sell my stuff because my hours got cut and work and I can't pay my rent. I have to wait for your money to transfer from paypal before I can afford to pay the shipping. I don't want to have to post my possesions on eBay everyday. I'm sorry that I try to save time and money by only going to the post office 2-3 times a week. I'm sorry that my Internet got shut off and I couldn't answer your e-mail the minute you sent it. I'm sorry that I need to work, help out my family and take care of my own problems, thus not giving me time to drop everything for you. I'm trying really hard here but I'm not perfect. Your package got out late, it's not the end of the world. If that was the worst thing that happened to me I'd be filled with joy.
And before you act all big and bad behind your harsh words typed on your keyboard hundreds of miles away, check my excellent feedback and realize that I am not, in fact, trying to rip you off of your $10 and perhaps, just maybe, you could think about all the reasons that the package might be late other than me stealing from you. For instance, something bad happened to me or someone I care about, there was an error somewhere along the way or perhaps the seller has a life outside of selling stuff on eBay and had a lot going on that was extremely important to her, and thus your package got in the mail a few days late.
But if all of the shoe shoppers and eBay buyers took a few minutes to realize that the world is not perfect and that it doesn't revolve around them, what would I write about? Freedom, Love, Beauty, Peace, Truth, Joy, Love, Compassion, Understanding, Kindness, Courtesy, Sharing, Harmony? I don't suppose anyone would want to read about those. The concepts would be to foreign. They wouldn't relate to my work and they'd go online and bash it under the title of 'anonymous'.
Okay, I'm sorry but I just really needed to say that. And speaking of flaws into humanity and the wanting of the perfect shoes, I have finished Wicked and will write my thoughts on it shortly but right now I need to do something, I'm just not sure what.
*I have written this in a not-so-happy state. Forgive me for run on sentences or spelling and grammar flaws. I just needed to get it out asap.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Beginnings, Middles and Ends
My access to the Internet is no longer restricted. Yay.
Thank you to everyone for their concern about my family's bad news. I don't really want to go into it much, I'll just say that we knew that it was going to happen and we figured it would be soon. And even though we still don't know much, the news is still hard to take. If any of that makes sense.
It's been a crazy week and weekend. Lots going on. Work, baby showers, promotion parties, match making, quality time with loved ones. Just tons of stuff really.
I know that I still need to write my post about Wicked, as well as the post about submissions. I promise I'll get one or more done this week. Right now I just have a lot going on. Stuff to ship, bills to figure out, people that I need to spend time with. And did I mention I started a new job this week.
I wish I could sing a joyous song about my exit from the shoe store but that won't happen for at least three months. My news job is at an elementary school. Their school year is about to end so in three weeks I'll be on summer break, which they don't pay me for. So I need to sell shoes until then and maybe longer. I'll have to wait and see.
I'm super excited about working with kids. I think they're fun. They imaginations are full of wonder. I'll have some good experiences to write about, which may come in handy if I ever do write a children's book. That idea has definitely crossed my mind more than once.
Thank you to everyone for their concern about my family's bad news. I don't really want to go into it much, I'll just say that we knew that it was going to happen and we figured it would be soon. And even though we still don't know much, the news is still hard to take. If any of that makes sense.
It's been a crazy week and weekend. Lots going on. Work, baby showers, promotion parties, match making, quality time with loved ones. Just tons of stuff really.
I know that I still need to write my post about Wicked, as well as the post about submissions. I promise I'll get one or more done this week. Right now I just have a lot going on. Stuff to ship, bills to figure out, people that I need to spend time with. And did I mention I started a new job this week.
I wish I could sing a joyous song about my exit from the shoe store but that won't happen for at least three months. My news job is at an elementary school. Their school year is about to end so in three weeks I'll be on summer break, which they don't pay me for. So I need to sell shoes until then and maybe longer. I'll have to wait and see.
I'm super excited about working with kids. I think they're fun. They imaginations are full of wonder. I'll have some good experiences to write about, which may come in handy if I ever do write a children's book. That idea has definitely crossed my mind more than once.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Excuse me
I didn't finish reading Wicked. I didn't write the post about submissions. I didn't write the post about research on painting lessons.
My plan was to write or read while at work tonight but we were actually busy. And to be honest I'm not really have the best of days. I'm restricted to Internet access at work only, which is bummerish . My car is broken, which is frustrating. And we got some bad news in our family to day, which is devastating.
So I haven't gotten much of anything done and my mind is so out of it right now that I probably couldn't get much done even if I had time.
I might not get to post for the next few days but I'll try. .
My plan was to write or read while at work tonight but we were actually busy. And to be honest I'm not really have the best of days. I'm restricted to Internet access at work only, which is bummerish . My car is broken, which is frustrating. And we got some bad news in our family to day, which is devastating.
So I haven't gotten much of anything done and my mind is so out of it right now that I probably couldn't get much done even if I had time.
I might not get to post for the next few days but I'll try. .
Sunday, March 09, 2008
My apologies
Okay, I'm really behind. I haven't posted in over a week. I haven't written anything new. I have gotten much work done on anything. I haven't researched anything. I haven't written a review for RENT. I haven't found a job. I'm a bum.
Last week I got stricken with the flu something fierce. I was knocked out for four days and half functional for another three. All of this happening at the worst time possible. As if there's ever a good time to get sick but it was a really hard time for me and my family. All I wanted to do was get out of bed and help out and do anything to make things better and I couldn't move. My body ached too much. My head felt completely out of it. Sleep was all I could think.
I've bounced back and aside from a slight cough, I feel back to new. Things in my family are still crazy and I doubt they'll get better anytime soon but I can't sit around waiting for things to be perfect again.
I'm off to get stuff done so I'll have something to talk about in my next post.
Last week I got stricken with the flu something fierce. I was knocked out for four days and half functional for another three. All of this happening at the worst time possible. As if there's ever a good time to get sick but it was a really hard time for me and my family. All I wanted to do was get out of bed and help out and do anything to make things better and I couldn't move. My body ached too much. My head felt completely out of it. Sleep was all I could think.
I've bounced back and aside from a slight cough, I feel back to new. Things in my family are still crazy and I doubt they'll get better anytime soon but I can't sit around waiting for things to be perfect again.
I'm off to get stuff done so I'll have something to talk about in my next post.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Another crappy post for now
It's getting worse and I still don't want to talk about it. Life, that is. I know I'm very fortunate and should not be complaining. It's just that I feel like I'm getting repeatedly smacked in the face and it's hard to be perky and upbeat about that.
I'm tired. I'm broke. There aren't enough hours in the day. And I feel really alone right now.
In the few seconds that I'm not at the hospital, looking for future employment or trudging through the little bit of a job I have left, I have been querying Going It Alone to agents but so far no takers. I'm also constantly making updates to it. And somehow I got inspired to write another novel. I know I am working on a few different novels but this one has really been on my mind and it just seems time to write it. It's not the same characters but it's almost like a sequel to Going It Alone. That may seem crazy since I can't even get anyone to take a look at Going It Alone but writing is my free therapy right now so I'm putting down what pops into my head.
Anyway, hopefully things will settle down soon and I'll have a coherent and interesting post to write. Until then I'll try to keep up with life and remember it could be worse.
I'm tired. I'm broke. There aren't enough hours in the day. And I feel really alone right now.
In the few seconds that I'm not at the hospital, looking for future employment or trudging through the little bit of a job I have left, I have been querying Going It Alone to agents but so far no takers. I'm also constantly making updates to it. And somehow I got inspired to write another novel. I know I am working on a few different novels but this one has really been on my mind and it just seems time to write it. It's not the same characters but it's almost like a sequel to Going It Alone. That may seem crazy since I can't even get anyone to take a look at Going It Alone but writing is my free therapy right now so I'm putting down what pops into my head.
Anyway, hopefully things will settle down soon and I'll have a coherent and interesting post to write. Until then I'll try to keep up with life and remember it could be worse.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
I don't want to talk about it
It's been one of those weeks. I'm optimistic that things will get better but I'm not inspired to write anything on my blog. I need a break from everything. So here's another RENT clip for your enjoyment. (And yes these will keep coming until RENT is officially retired on June 1.)
Monday, November 19, 2007
Finally another meeting
We actually managed to have a writing group meeting today. I was the only one that brought work so it was kind of an all about me meeting but we also got a chance to talk about how we could have future meetings more regularly. It seems we're going to try once a month meetings and see how that goes since the 'we'll see' week by week thing isn't going too well.
I got some good feedback on the first half of my story and everyone is anxious for the next part so I guess that's a good thing.
Other than that not much is going on. Today was filled with problems and drama between work and family. I was lucky to make it to the meeting. And I really didn't think I would get a post up at all today but I guess I'll make it just in time.
Oh and in case you come across this page looking for the Family Guy, Stewie to Bryan, 'how's that novel comin'?' I have put a link in my side bar that goes directly to the post with that quote since most of my visitors come here looking for it.
I got some good feedback on the first half of my story and everyone is anxious for the next part so I guess that's a good thing.
Other than that not much is going on. Today was filled with problems and drama between work and family. I was lucky to make it to the meeting. And I really didn't think I would get a post up at all today but I guess I'll make it just in time.
Oh and in case you come across this page looking for the Family Guy, Stewie to Bryan, 'how's that novel comin'?' I have put a link in my side bar that goes directly to the post with that quote since most of my visitors come here looking for it.
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